You don't just come back.....

They say that homesickness comes in waves.  It goes up and down, spiking and falling whenever it darn well pleases..... even after you return back to your home country.

So I am struggling.

I'm struggling with people not understanding me, even while speaking the same language.

I'm struggling with remembering how to participate instead of observe in group settings.

I'm struggling with wanting to be around groups of people I don't know.

I'm struggling to adjust my diet back to something that works well with my body.

I'm struggling to find my "happy place" and a routine that works for me.

I'm struggling with having so much "stuff" that I don't feel like I need any more.

I'm struggling with missing the people who have been my families for the past 6 months.

I'm struggling to reconnect with the people here.

I'm struggling to remember that I have a cell phone.

I'm struggling to process everything I've learned.

I'm struggling to decide what parts of my life in Europe will become a part of my life here.

It's not a constant struggle, but it's not an immediate adjustment either.

Now I know I am blessed to have a family that more than just "deals with me" when I'm having a hard day.  They poke and prod at me for the truth because they love me (and I LOVE them). I know that I am lucky to be surrounded by past IFYEs (two sisters and a brother-in-law) because they get it, but it's still a unique thing that varies from person to person.

But like any change, adjustments take time.  I would be crazy if I thought that I could adjust back in a few days when I've been living a totally different life for the past 6 months.  I am not the exact same person who left in June.  If I was, what would be the point in travelling and experiencing things outside my comfort zone?  No, like most things, once you get out of the box, it never quite fits in there the same.

Struggling is just another part of growth though.  It's the growing pains that allow you to become a better version of yourself.  It's a season, and like all seasons, it won't last forever.

So thank you for sticking with me while I work this out.  Y'all are beautiful souls that brighten my day.